Bellflower (
bellflower) wrote in
moonrealm2018-10-14 09:15 pm
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CALL ME OUT |
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A simple call me out post Bell. Got an idea for a PSL or meme with one of my characters? Hit me up here! I've set up an OOC thread to chat about it if you wanna ask about preferences, ideas, anything like that... check out the links to the side! |
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[He doesn't want to, he wishes he hadn't, but again Xu Shu thinks of Shan Fu. Shan Fu, who was the person Xu Shu was, and still is, but feels like a man from another world. He curls his fingers against the ground and slowly drags his fingertips through the dirt, remembering the way he'd been on the cusp of adulthood; shy and uncertain, but also filled with a burning need to help the world and driven by a temper that almost always left him reaching for his sword.]
[Those hands had realised their talent far too quickly.]
Another tragedy? [Xu Shu exhales softly, now tracing a circle.] You're probably not wrong.
[He almost expects it at all times, doesn't he? Despite what Daud has done to ground him it still feels like Xu Shu is constantly on the edge of a precipice that he'd worked long and hard to climb. The idea that 'Tenkai' might do something to help him avoid that, though... and the comment about the ghosts Xu Shu can't even bring himself to react to despite the fact that it's the one that affects him most. When Mitsuhide's views are expressed Xu Shu outwardly and obviously tenses, disturbed, before trying to shake it off.]
Umm... thank you.
[Glancing back at Mitsuhide briefly, Xu Shu is quiet for a minute or two before being drawn back to the flames and asking what is not as pointless a question as it might seem.]
Another. For you. How good are you at cooking?
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This monk thought that you had not realized who he was, but it seems nothing can escape your eyes. [ A soft chuckle, like he honestly believes he could have gotten away from hiding his real identity. ] But as for cooking... I am very well-versed in it. There was someone that I cooked for often. He always was delighted by every meal I prepared.
[ His eyes close. ] Odd, isn't it? To have someone appreciate something small that you did for them? This is different than creating plans. This is different than achieving victory in battle. It benefits no body of power. It does not take a person one step closer to greater glory. [ He opens his eyes. ] It merely makes a person feel warm when they were cold inside of themselves.
[ He smiles with his eyes once more. ] I am well-versed in cooking. [ 'Tenkai' repeats himself. But he also does not answer if he is good or bad at cooking. Because to him, such a thing is unimportant. Such a thing as being "good" does not exist. If Daud held out a bowl of soup that was only heated by a fire, 'Tenkai' is certain that Xu Shu would find it "good" and "delicious." That is all; that is all.
And so, the monk tries to explain that it will only be as good as the warmth Xu Shu takes from it. ]
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Such small gestures are the best ones of all.
[Something has to be done about Mitsuhide. He and Daud have pondered it together. But Xu Shu keeps wondering if, when it comes down to it, he might bypass his father-figure and face it alone; if maybe that's the right thing for all concerned, Mitsuhide included. Despite every monstrous thing that face has ever done Xu Shu feels empathy, and sorrow, for the bloodied and battered man. It might make him even more foolish than he'd thought before but a proper battle between the 'darker' faces each of them has?]
[Even if Shan Fu is not a true 'other face.' Just Xu Shu himself, as he once was. As he still can't accept he is.]
Umm, thank you, Tenkai. [Xu Shu's trailing fingers stop, drawing into a fist for a moment before he sits up and frowns at the fire.] I don't have any more questions right now. There are too many thoughts in my head to go over before I can truly make sense of anything more.
[A pause, and because he is still very much Xu Shu:]
Sorry.
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[ He chuckles -- a soft, pleasing sound -- as he tilts his head to offer a similarly softly-felt smile. ] There was no big action that he or she did to earn your trust, right? Indeed, it is the small gestures that slowly ease the wounds that we have upon our hearts and allow us a feeling of peace. [ His eyes close for a moment, before he focuses his gaze back upon the cooking rabbits. If he allows his thoughts and eyes to wander too much, the meal will be ruined and that would make a waste of Xu Shu's efforts. And I cannot have that, at all. ]
You are welcome, Xu Shu, and there is no reason to apologize. [ A thoughtful pause. ] You should attempt to not think too hard on things beyond your control. Your head will start to heat up and you will feel as though you are under attack ... but there is no attack to come. Not from the face that is before you.
[ A frown is felt in his next words: ] The parts of you that are still healing. I won't poke and prod at them with anything sharp. So ... allow yourself a moment of rest, if you would? It seems to my poorly trained eyes that you have been putting too many responsibilities on yourself... [ His eyes slowly slide away and up toward the gradient of colors in the sky. ] ... but my eyes are poorly trained so perhaps... it is nothing of the sort?
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They might be 'too many' but... they are still mine.
[And if he's honest, having none at all is the truly terrifying thing. Xu Shu just wants to be useful. To be valued. A part of him just can't accept or understand that people might value him anyway because that requires understanding what it is about him that people love.]
[He really is rather drained right now, though. So... for a short while, he'll just nod and close his eyes again. The light of the fire still shows through his eyelids, a comfort in the dark.]
But I'll rest.
[For now.]