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By vigils

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[Late in the afternoon as it is, the sun is close to the horizon by the time Xu Shu appears. The ravens circle and fly in front of an approaching sunset that is clearly going to be rather pink; soft pastels are starting to settle into the sky.]

[The timer on the phone Mitsuhide holds reads 43:52.]

[A close-call, certainly, and judging by the pace at which Xu Shu speeds towards the fire he knows it. When he slows down and stops by the fire there is sweat on his brow, his chest rising and falling with his exhaustion. The bottom of his trousers are rather muddy too, and there are leaves caught on his clothing, but most importantly? Rabbits. Four of them. Not huge, not massively fat, but still with enough meat on them to make a good meal. They are bound together by thick cord and unbloodied so far; killed by a quick break of the neck, obviously. Laying them near Mitsuhide, Xu Shu then takes a seat and heaves a deep, tired breath.]

[After a moment or two he lays down a packet besides the rabbits too; inside there are mushrooms. A mix of commoner edible ones and a small handful of a rare but tasty prize; Matsutake mushrooms, especially prized in both China and Japan.]

Enough?

[He pulls down his hood and runs a hand through his hair, now concentrating on his breath in an attempt to both calm down and recover from his sprint.]

[ His thumb presses lightly to stop the timer. Both faces look over the time. He has worked exceptionally hard. Indeed, he has run around frantically to ensure success. Truly admirable. A soft giggle. What a marvelous human! What a marvelous human! His insides, though, are twisted and bunching and bursting in pain. Still, still, he has achieved his goal. Congratulations! Yes, let us give congratulations.

He holds his hand up, fingers slightly curled, as he stops himself. His head tilts upwards as one of the ravens plummets down to the ground. The corvid pecks and tugs lightly on the rabbits' ears. Its blood red eyes look over the captured prey before flying up to rest on the 'monk's shoulder. ]

It's enough, isn't it? [ The raven pecks lightly at the mask. ] Are you sure? [ It does not seem to want to dignify the question with an answer as the bird takes off from his shoulder back up toward the skies. The soft pastels of evening are blotted out in black, like a swirling storm, as the ravens group together. It is not long before they move on, traveling elsewhere, and the sky once more shines its beautifully soft colors. ]

You did very well. [ 'Tenkai' steps forward to reach his hand out to rest it on top of the young man's head, lightly petting the hair in a manner that he believes to be soothing. ] Your efforts are truly wonderful, and we are all very happy with what you have accomplished. Very happy, indeed.

[ His head lightly shakes. ] As you could tell, there is not enough for the ravens to eat with us, but that was never part of the original agreement. I had thoughtlessly invited them to join us while you were away. [ A warmer tone. ] But they were very pleased with what you had chosen for us to eat. And for their kindness and patience with me, I shall chat with another face to see if they can be properly compensated.

[ A soft laugh. ] Well done, well done. Rest now and allow this monk to handle the cooking. [ He finishes, finally, in patting and stroking Xu Shu's hair. Kneeling down, he looks over the rabbits that have been brought. ] Such kindness. Yes, you have a lot of kindness when you kill. I am certain everyone has felt it... even those that have tasted steel instead of a quick twist.

[There's no question that odd power runs in Mitsuhide's blood; Xu Shu stares at the ravens with weary eyes, watches the single one perch on the 'monk's' shoulder, and then follows it as it ascends to the sky and joins its brethren. Chat with the other face? He's going to have to talk to Daud about that amongst many, many other things... to make sure that compensation isn't of a kind they'll have to interfere with.]

[This is such a mess. All of it. But he has to keep it up. Huffing a breath, he slides his glasses case from his pocket and puts them back on. Sprinting with the precious item on was just too risky so he'd stashed them away.]

Umm...

[There's a moment of vague horror as he realises this is the first time anyone has stroked his hair in years... and worse, Tenkai's gesture reminds him of his mother, when he was very small, back when her harshness had been lesser and her softness more often exposed. It's not a comparison he'd like to have made. His beloved mother is too precious a memory for that.]

I'm... thank you.

[He sighs softly, wipes a smear of dirt from his face. Well. At least he'll get to eat soon. The heavy exertion has left him ravenous. Enough that he can focus on that, he hopes, and not the chills concerning the 'killing' comment. True as it might be it hurts to think about.]

[If only it never had to come to that.]

I already offered prayers for them.

[He does every time he's had to do this. It feels right.]

You're welcome.

[ Another soft chuckle. ] Of course, you would do that. I'm certain that they appreciate it... since so few would offer prayers. [ He picks up one of the rabbits, and gently pets the top of its head. ] Right? ... ah? [ His eyes settle on the body and he hums softly. ] You didn't even linger in this world, huh?

[ One hand slides behind his back. Pulling it back around, a blade suddenly appears in his grip. It's curved slightly like a scythe, and has an ominous feeling should Xu Shu stare at it for too long. ] You have a few questions, don't you? Why don't you ask them? It'll take your mind off of the preparations I am doing and will do.

[ Indeed, he plans to do all the preparing for the meal and allow the kind, young man a means of escape from the bloody affair. ]

[Xu Shu doesn't need to stare at it to feel unnerved. Aside from the fact that it appeared out of nowhere it's rather. Well. Overkill for the task at hand. But the moment the word passes through his thoughts he feels faintly ill because it's way, way too appropriate.]

[He needs to rest. Not sleep, not around Mitsuhide, but closing his eyes while he talks? Yes. Right now he feels pretty certain the other won't try to harm or kill him, oddly enough, and considers whether such instinct can be wise for a few moments before laying down on his side and staring into the fire. A compromise of sorts. The warm, dancing flames provide a gentle kind of comfort.]

Questions?

[He sounds worn, not allowing too much to slip in his voice, though the fact that Mitsuhide knows he has them means there's probably not much to hide anyway. Yes, he has questions. Countless. But asking them directly?]

[He ponders for a short while before saying:]

I suspect many of them might be unwise to ask. Do you think so?

[Mitsuhide is very likely to understand why he asks with such obvious honesty, because, yes, madness and chaos embodied but he sees things too clearly for comfort.]

[ Preparations are ... preparations. 'Tenkai' sees no reason to make them more noisy than they need to be. Mitsuhide would see the amusement in flicking blood of the rabbits upon Xu Shu's face with his eyes closed, but the 'monk' is much kinder. He keeps the blood to the rabbits and the ground. The blade works its magic (figurative or otherwise can't be disclosed) and he muses over the first question given to him. ]

That depends on you, I'm afraid. [ He hums. ] They may rattle your insides if you ask them, but if you don't, you will wonder, will you not? [ The blood soaks into his palms, soaks into the skin and disappears, leaving his hands clean and the 'monk' feeling a little more refreshed. ]

Indeed, what you wonder will always be worse than the answer. [ And soon, the smell of meat cooking fills the small area the two reside. ] And if you don't ask now, you'll regret it later. That is just how you do things, I suppose. [ He chuckles softly. ] So, ask your questions. Ask all of them... this humble monk is here to help. Yes, he is here to help.

[It's probably for the best that Xu Shu doesn't see that blood soak in. The response is enough. He's not sure entirely about the 'regret' part because some of those questions, well, some of them he thinks Mitsuhide won't give an answer for. Or shouldn't be asked without earning a reaction Xu Shu wants to avoid, rather. Yes. That's the real danger here.]

[The other knows how Xu Shu is, knows that Xu Shu might approach this strategically. Some questions might indirectly earn answers he won't dare ask so forwardly. So he'll start with something simple, softly worded.]

Why are you interested in me?

[He pauses, considers, and then adds in a vaguely uncertain manner:]

Both you and, umm... your other 'face.'

This humble monk feels that if he leaves you alone that it will end poorly. [ A soft chuckle. ] You have escaped one tragedy that altered your life, but the life you are leading now will lead to another tragedy in the future. I would like to see you avoid that, Xu Shu.

[ His head bows low, even though the young man can't see it. ] If you face too many setbacks, you will start to question which foot to walk with ... and remain stationary. Such a fate would be too sad to watch. [ His chin lifts a little. ]

My other face ... his feelings are different than my own. [ 'Tenkai' tilts his head. ] Daud said, he cannot talk to you anymore, but this is not talking. It is answering. There is no conversation to be had here. [ His shoulders shake as he giggles. ] He likes you. He likes you, because you are sharp. You are clever. You are someone that has thousands of ghosts following you.

He can see them. He can always see them. But you do not recognize the reason for why they are reaching out to you. You have a lot of conviction inside of you. You have a lot of determination within you. You allow that man to be in control of both. [ His eyes shift to look to the flames. ] So we are interested ... I wish to prevent your fall. He wishes to see you soar.

[ A smile is felt in his next words: ] Both of us are hoping for your success.

[And that right there, all of it, is useful. Revealing. It further helps Xu Shu to understand the two 'faces' of this man, what Mitsuhide is versus what Tenkai is. The result of someone filled with two completely opposing needs. Because however the man acts and whatever masks he wears he is still ultimately one person, isn't he?]

[He doesn't want to, he wishes he hadn't, but again Xu Shu thinks of Shan Fu. Shan Fu, who was the person Xu Shu was, and still is, but feels like a man from another world. He curls his fingers against the ground and slowly drags his fingertips through the dirt, remembering the way he'd been on the cusp of adulthood; shy and uncertain, but also filled with a burning need to help the world and driven by a temper that almost always left him reaching for his sword.]

[Those hands had realised their talent far too quickly.]

Another tragedy? [Xu Shu exhales softly, now tracing a circle.] You're probably not wrong.

[He almost expects it at all times, doesn't he? Despite what Daud has done to ground him it still feels like Xu Shu is constantly on the edge of a precipice that he'd worked long and hard to climb. The idea that 'Tenkai' might do something to help him avoid that, though... and the comment about the ghosts Xu Shu can't even bring himself to react to despite the fact that it's the one that affects him most. When Mitsuhide's views are expressed Xu Shu outwardly and obviously tenses, disturbed, before trying to shake it off.]

Umm... thank you.

[Glancing back at Mitsuhide briefly, Xu Shu is quiet for a minute or two before being drawn back to the flames and asking what is not as pointless a question as it might seem.]

Another. For you. How good are you at cooking?

Edited 2018-12-04 01:29 (UTC)

Yes. [ He nods slow, thoughtful. ] But I cannot make any strategy to avoid it. I can only see what will come. I suppose that's the same for the man that Daud dislikes? [ Tilting his head, 'Tenkai' muses aloud about the Outsider. ]

This monk thought that you had not realized who he was, but it seems nothing can escape your eyes. [ A soft chuckle, like he honestly believes he could have gotten away from hiding his real identity. ] But as for cooking... I am very well-versed in it. There was someone that I cooked for often. He always was delighted by every meal I prepared.

[ His eyes close. ] Odd, isn't it? To have someone appreciate something small that you did for them? This is different than creating plans. This is different than achieving victory in battle. It benefits no body of power. It does not take a person one step closer to greater glory. [ He opens his eyes. ] It merely makes a person feel warm when they were cold inside of themselves.

[ He smiles with his eyes once more. ] I am well-versed in cooking. [ 'Tenkai' repeats himself. But he also does not answer if he is good or bad at cooking. Because to him, such a thing is unimportant. Such a thing as being "good" does not exist. If Daud held out a bowl of soup that was only heated by a fire, 'Tenkai' is certain that Xu Shu would find it "good" and "delicious." That is all; that is all.

And so, the monk tries to explain that it will only be as good as the warmth Xu Shu takes from it. ]

[He and Mitsuhide have something in common, Xu Shu realises, as he listens and ponders over each word. They are vastly different, and this man here is a being of such extremes it's hard to understand just what could have driven such a split, and yet... still... in some small way...]

Such small gestures are the best ones of all.

[Something has to be done about Mitsuhide. He and Daud have pondered it together. But Xu Shu keeps wondering if, when it comes down to it, he might bypass his father-figure and face it alone; if maybe that's the right thing for all concerned, Mitsuhide included. Despite every monstrous thing that face has ever done Xu Shu feels empathy, and sorrow, for the bloodied and battered man. It might make him even more foolish than he'd thought before but a proper battle between the 'darker' faces each of them has?]

[Even if Shan Fu is not a true 'other face.' Just Xu Shu himself, as he once was. As he still can't accept he is.]

Umm, thank you, Tenkai. [Xu Shu's trailing fingers stop, drawing into a fist for a moment before he sits up and frowns at the fire.] I don't have any more questions right now. There are too many thoughts in my head to go over before I can truly make sense of anything more.

[A pause, and because he is still very much Xu Shu:]

Sorry.

I think so, too.

[ He chuckles -- a soft, pleasing sound -- as he tilts his head to offer a similarly softly-felt smile. ] There was no big action that he or she did to earn your trust, right? Indeed, it is the small gestures that slowly ease the wounds that we have upon our hearts and allow us a feeling of peace. [ His eyes close for a moment, before he focuses his gaze back upon the cooking rabbits. If he allows his thoughts and eyes to wander too much, the meal will be ruined and that would make a waste of Xu Shu's efforts. And I cannot have that, at all. ]

You are welcome, Xu Shu, and there is no reason to apologize. [ A thoughtful pause. ] You should attempt to not think too hard on things beyond your control. Your head will start to heat up and you will feel as though you are under attack ... but there is no attack to come. Not from the face that is before you.

[ A frown is felt in his next words: ] The parts of you that are still healing. I won't poke and prod at them with anything sharp. So ... allow yourself a moment of rest, if you would? It seems to my poorly trained eyes that you have been putting too many responsibilities on yourself... [ His eyes slowly slide away and up toward the gradient of colors in the sky. ] ... but my eyes are poorly trained so perhaps... it is nothing of the sort?

[Xu Shu does not shift his eyes from the fire; he stares into the dancing flames, lets the orange and soft red fill his vision so there's nothing else to distract him. Just flame, beautiful flame, and the words Tenkai chooses to share. Really, there's only one appropriate response.]

They might be 'too many' but... they are still mine.

[And if he's honest, having none at all is the truly terrifying thing. Xu Shu just wants to be useful. To be valued. A part of him just can't accept or understand that people might value him anyway because that requires understanding what it is about him that people love.]

[He really is rather drained right now, though. So... for a short while, he'll just nod and close his eyes again. The light of the fire still shows through his eyelids, a comfort in the dark.]

But I'll rest.

[For now.]

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